If you are always sad or find it hard to stay happy for long periods, it’s more likely due to your mindset – how you process events in your life, and not just the events alone. In this article, you will find some really useful tips that can help you develop a more positive mindset and find lasting happiness.
Profound Tips to Find Lasting Happiness from Daila Lama and Some Other Really Wise People
1. Practice Contentment
We need to learn how to want what we have NOT to have what we want in order to get steady and stable Happiness.
This quote is from the book The Art of Happiness, and it’s so true because, firstly, we can’t always get what we want. And, secondly, the happiness we derive from new things never lasts. Once the novelty wears out, we become bored and, eventually, unhappy again.
Therefore, in stead of culturing our minds to always want to get what we desire, we should learn to, sometimes, appreciate what we already have. Only then will we see the real value – that way we can find lasting happiness.
2. Never excuse or tolerate toxic people
You have to fill your bucket with positive energy — and if you have people hanging around you that are bringing you down and not lifting you up, whether that’s your ‘boo’ or your best friend — you have to learn how to push these people to the side.
It’s very easy for those closest to us to influence our emotions, either way. Therefore, if we have people in our lives who drain our happiness, or sabotage our success in any way, we should, by all means, keep them out of our lives. And, if that’s not possible, we should, at least, draw our boundaries and redefine our relationships with them.
No matter what you do, personally, to make yourself happy, it will never last if you’re surrounded by malcontents and toxic people.
3. Count your blessings
The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.
Counting our blessings, which can also be seen as Gratitude, is very important if we don’t want to be miserable always.
Yes, there will be occurrences that will make us sad – very sad; however, a sad event doesn’t equate a sad life. If anything, reacting to things in a negative way only makes them worse.
No matter what we are going through, there are always many things to be grateful for – we only need to reflect to see them and to, perhaps, stop taking the ones we can already see for granted.
I remember a line from one of Shaggy’s songs that says, “no matter how you sad and blue, there’s always someone who has it worse than you.”
Remember, your life, which you so despise, is someone else’s dream.
4. Stop trying to be perfect
Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.
Trying to be perfect doesn’t only place enormous stress on our minds, it ultimately leads to frustration and unhappiness.
We need to realize that we don’t need a perfect life, or perfect situations, to make our lives meaningful. If anything, perfectionism creates fear and can lead to procrastination. It can also be defeatist, causing us to give up altogether on our goals.
In anything that we are doing in life, we need not focus too much on the result that we forget to enjoy the journey.
Are you struggling with perfectionism?
Check out this powerful quotes that can help you break free from perfectionism.
5. Stop all comparison
To be a happy person, one has to drop all comparison. Drop all these stupid ideas of being superior and inferior. You are neither superior nor inferior. You are simply yourself! There exists no one like you, no one with whom you can be compared. Then, suddenly, you are at home.
I so much love this quote – the obvious thing when we think about comparison and our happiness is comparing ourselves to people who appear better than us; however, I agree that comparing ourselves to people we think we are better than is also not healthy.
While comparisons with those we perceive to be better than us could cause us to feel inadequate, feeling superior to others could also place untold mental and emotional pressure on us – the pressure to always live up to the so-called standards that make us feel better than them.
6. Keep your heart free from hate and worry
The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine, forget yourself, think of others. Try this for a week. You will be surprised.
Norman Vincent Peale
This quote from Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking needs no further explanation, really: to find lasting happiness, we need to keep our hearts free from really negative emotions such as hate, worry, and jealousy.
The Power of Positive Thinking is available on Walmart OR eBook on Kobo
7. Always have something you’re working on, or something to look forward to.
The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
George Washington Burnap
I guess you, too, can relate with this: I usually have this empty feeling at times in my life, especially at the start or end of each day, when I can’t say that I have any meaningful project I’m working on or anything new thing I’m learning.
In essence, we don’t always need success or acquisitions to be happy, we just need to feel that we are growing.
For example, when I started learning French – and a couple of musical instruments – I used to look forward to each day with excitement. I would get up early even on weekends.
Whereas, whenever I had nothing to look forward to besides my routine work and daily engagements, I used to feel despondent.
The bottom line is, to feel constantly happy, we need to invest our times in meaningful relationships and activities.
8. Live in the moment – Appreciate the present.
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.
One of the primary causes of not being able to create or find lasting happiness is our failure to appreciate the present moment. It’s human nature to ruefully look at the past and also worry about the future. However, that’s not mentally or emotionally healthy, as all it does is stop us from seeing the beauties and embracing the opportunities of the present.
Sometimes, we need to decide to be mindful only of the present moment. That way, we can rid our minds of all pains and worries.
9. Decide to be Happy
Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
This Lincoln quote is true – it’s not always the happenings in our lives that make us unhappy but how we decide to process them.
For example, two close friends, might hurt you in exactly the same; however, you may be more tolerant of one of them. You might think it’s just a natural tendency, but it’s actually a subconscious decision you’ve made – possibly based on each person’s antecedents, prior communications with them, or just that you’re more fond of one of them.
The same way, our happiness or sadness is usually determined by our mindset, even if we don’t realize so.
10. Make others happy
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.
The happiness we derive from helping others is always deeper and longer-lasting than that which we derive when we do something for ourselves.
Beyond the initial happiness derived when we put a smile on other people’s faces, it also boosts our self-esteem in the longer term.
Therefore, if you find yourself constantly looking for happiness, it maybe that you haven’t been investing in other people’s happiness enough.