Self-love habits

I wrote previously about a lack of self-love being one of the reasons why we’re vulnerable to toxic people. Behavioral Change experts, Thrive Global, also list self-love as a catalyst for success in every area of our lives. But what are the self-love habits we need to cultivate for maximal living?

Self-love habits you should cultivate to live maximally

We can’t love ourselves without taking deliberate actions to enhance our lives. Here are some of the habits we should start mastering today to show that we truly value ourselves and to give ourselves the best chance of succeeding in a competitive world.

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.
Anne Lamott


Ask any sage person the qualities you need to imbibe to be more loving of yourself and, as a result, become a much better and happier person, gratitude will be top of most of their lists.

When we count our blessings and are grateful for the little achievements, we are more encouraged and motivated to become even better versions of ourselves.

We can’t truly love ourselves until we start recognizing our unique blessings.

Self Discipline

The more you love yourself, the more disciplined you become – or should become.

For example, consistent hard work is never easy but if we love ourselves enough, we have to be motivated by the rewards of working hard.

Similarly, emotional control – redefining our relationships with toxic loved ones – ain’t always easy, however, if we care so much about our mental, physical health and our future, we have to muster the discipline to stop putting up with their misdemeanors.

Delayed Gratification

Tony Robbins defines it as resisting the temptation of an immediate reward in anticipation that there will be a greater reward later.

Natural human tendency is to have something right when we want or crave it. That, however, is sometimes deleterious, as it is better to have, use, or enjoy something at a later date if it will eliminate its harm to us or increase in value.

For example, the culture of saving or, better yet, investing (money) for a secure future relies greatly on the ability to delay immediate reward.

Resisting the urge to buy the latest iPhone with all your savings and rather wisely investing the money could put you in a position where in another 12 months time you could afford to buy five of such phones and still have a lot of money in your savings.

You haven’t started practicing self-love until you learn to start delaying rewards.


This self-love habit is in two forms:

  • Forgiving ourselves
  • Forgiving others

Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías captured the first part very well…

Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.

On forgiving others, we have to learn to do so if for no other reason than the liberation of our own souls. Therefore, forgiving others is a demonstration of self-love.

See what Nelson Mandela said:

When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.


One of the most important self-love habits is introspection.

Self-love should stir up a desire for self-improvement, and to be the best version of ourselves possible, there is the need to regularly take a deep and honest look at ourselves to reveal (introspection), and accept, hitherto unnoticed flaws and make improvements.

Self Improvement

Self-love is meaningless if it doesn’t serve as a catalyst for self-improvement.

Spiritual: seeking to build a better relationship and connect better with God, through meditation, prayers, worship, fasting.

Mental: seeking to improve our cerebral powers and intellectual ability, through meditation, reading, mentorship, rubbing minds,  and travelling.

Emotional & Social: seeking to have peace of mind, healthy self-esteem, and being in generally good emotional health, through keeping good company, creating special bonds, getting rid of toxic company, socializing and networking.

Physical: seeking to enjoy good physical health and having a good physical image, through fitness, good diet, regular medical checkups, and detoxication.

Learning to say no

To truly love ourselves is to not allow anything and anyone into our lives and souls. Saying “no” is our defense against things that don’t help, serve, edify, or make us better.

Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset or expects you to say yes all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say no without having to explain yourself. Be at peace with your decisions.
Stephanie Lahart

Over to you:

What other self-love habits do you practice?
Please share in the comments.

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  1. This list came at the right time in my life. I am just starting to learn to truly love myself and listening to my body. Gratitude has been one of my go to practices for the last three months, but the delaying reward thing is new to me. I will definitely consider that!

  2. I am trying to live a gratitude life and take pleasure in all the little things and don’t want to take anything for granted. Thank you for this encouraging post.

  3. Forgiving is such a torture for me but I have to. I need more of this post to remind myself about these things. Thanks for your inspirational posts . I’ll keep everything in mind.

  4. My self love habit very simple ~ To consistently and be discipline to ensure I enjoy my me time, don’t get anything to disturb my protected me time. Then I enjoy stuff i enjoy doing during my me time, ie. doodling or reading etc 😀 cheers,siennylovesdrawing

  5. this is a good motivation for all of us…not all delicious food are good for our health..we need to learn how to balance things that are eing offered to us..there should be limitation and discipline at all times

  6. Very useful tips and I agree with you – holding no grudge and a good mental state do help you live longer. A stressful life is harmful so stay away – Knycx Journeying

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